1077

 

 

  I live here
(this bright blue egg in the grass)
  unbroken

 

 


nahaiwrimo — blue

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1077

5 thoughts on “1077

    1. angie werren says:

      I think I was *talking* to johannes somewhere about the parenthesis a few days ago… can’t remember. but, anyway — yeah. I’ve done a lttle of that in my longer stuff and trying it now and again in these shorties. I see it as three poems, really. (and I wouldn’t call it a haiku myself, but since I posted it in a haiku forum … ah well, when in rome)

      I read it like this:

      I live here
      unbroken

      this bright blue egg in the grass

      I live here
      this bright blue egg in the grass
      unbroken

      I don’t know if I’m making sense right now (haven’t had my tea yet and I don’t want to wake up for work!!) but the parenthesis are me trying to let the reader into *my* (and I say *my* because poetry is a fiction, so *my* is *the speaker’s* I suppose) brain. the words are what *she* says and the parenthesis are what *she* is thinking, so to me the order of the lines doesn’t matter. (and also — I think it was on one of the choice haiku posts in sketchbook that someone discussed the technique for writing a haiku that could go either direction. that fascinates me, too).

      does that make any sense at all?

      and, btw — thank you, yousei!! 😀

      1. angie werren says:

        and the multidirectional thing would make it:

        unbroken
        this bright blue egg in the grass
        I live here

        (I really should go get ready for work…)
        😉

        1. angie werren says:

          this is why summer break (twelve more days!! woo-hoo!!) can be a bad thing for me. I would/ probably will quite often do this all day…

          1. I don’t know which was more fun, reading your flow of interpretations or watching your mind meander without tea. 😉 I like things that can be read multiple ways. Your very first phrasing was exactly how I first read it. Then the writer in me had to experiment (apparently just like you). I’m looking forward to summer too. Lots of changes coming up for me, and I’m sure you’ll see them on my blog as I’m able to post.

chirp

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